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Average At Best

by Dry Spell

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1.
Sorry Mom... 00:29
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2.
Pez Dispenser 03:16
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So, I heard she's going out on a Friday night That girl smiles brighter than every star in the sky Her name is so sweet, just like my favourite candy But I heard she's hanging out with our drummer Scotty CHORUS: Bryce's roommate fucking hates me Bryce's roommate fucking hates me Bryce's roommate fucking hates me Bryce's roommate fucking hates me Hey Pez, lets get drunk and we can watch MacGyver And I know deep inside she wants me inside her We could have been best friends, don't you fucking know that? Just like Say Anything, I could have been your John Cusack CHORUS: Bryce's roommate fucking hates me Bryce's roommate fucking hates me Bryce's roommate fucking hates me Bryce's roommate fucking hates me BRIDGE: And every time he comes over (Pez, I fucking love you) Too scared to talk if he's still sober (Even though you fucking hate me) He's really good at holding hands (Oh, Pez, why won't you date me?) This is not a joke, I really do like you (can I come over?) CHORUS: Bryce's roommate fucking hates me Bryce's roommate fucking hates me Bryce's roommate fucking hates me Bryce's roommate fucking hates me Bryce's roommate fucking hates me (She's fucking hot, she's sucking cock, she fucking hates me) Bryce's roommate fucking hates me (She's fucking hot, she's sucking cock, she fucking hates me) Bryce's roommate fucking hates me (She's fucking hot, she's sucking cock, she fucking hates me) Bryce's roommate fucking hates me (She's fucking hot, she's sucking cock)
3.
@amandabynes 03:03
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'She's the Man' was my second favourite soccer film Only next to 'Ladybugs' starring Rodney Dangerfield I used to get drunk and pass out to 'What I Like About You' 'What A Girl Wants' and 'Hairspray' were living fucking proof I don’t care what you said on Twitter, baby I don’t care, no, I don't give a shit CHORUS: 'Cause I don’t remember much of my teenage years But I still want Amanda so fucking bad it hurts And she doesn't know That's why she won’t Return my phone calls Or read my tweets If she would only give me some time But Amanda... You got into drugs and showed your titties to the world But you'll always be 'All That' and my favourite fucking girl You're the only one that I love more than Emma Stone If it's so easy, A, why won't you just pick up the phone? I don’t care what you said on Twitter, baby I don’t care, no, I don't give a shit CHORUS: 'Cause I don’t remember much of my teenage years But I still want Amanda so fucking bad it hurts And she doesn't know That's why she won’t Go to my bands shows Or reply to my tweets If she would only give me some time But Amanda... Na na na na na Na na na na na na
4.
Crotch Rot 01:44
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Sitting in the health unit Well, this is fucking great All I ever wanted Was a dinner movie date But after a few drinks One thing lead to another She told me she was horny And we headed for the covers But how was I to know that She'd give me the itch How was I to know I'd get herpes from this bitch CHORUS: And now I'm itching all day And scratching all night Applying lots of lotion So I can feel alright Why'd I even fuck that chick? She wasn't even hot Now I have to live here With this fucking crotch rot
5.
Uma Thurman Haircut 03:30
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Dear god, for once, just let me have this one Dear god, for once, don't blame it on bad luck She's perfect and brilliant A lost, hopeless cynic Like me, like me She spells 'realize' the British way And I never realized that I could ever feel so lame Now she hangs out in my head all day Her endearing social presence will be the death of me CHORUS: Oh, won't you please come back to me? Oh, won't you please come back to me? Today, the sun, just wouldn't come out And what's worse is I'm into Modest Mouse I'm growing impatient Praying that she's waiting For me, you'll see I'm hoping she's hopeless like me CHORUS: Oh, won't you please come back to me? Oh, won't you please come back to me? Oh, won't you please come back to me? Oh, won't you please come back to me? But she'll never change And everyone knows that With her dark red lips And those shaking hands Oh, I'll miss those shaking hands And her love for indie rock bands Oh, I'll miss those shaking hands Oh, I'll miss those shaking hands She spells 'realize' the British way (Oh, I'll miss those shaking hands) And I never realized that I could ever feel so lame (Oh, I'll miss those shaking hands) Now she hangs out in my head all day (Oh, I'll miss those shaking hands) Her endearing social presence will be the death of me (Oh, I'll miss those shaking hands)
6.
Pony Boy 01:21
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After four drinks I'm sleeping alone on friday night Inspiration I'm taking from songs I didn't write I'll joy down some name of a girl I wish I knew but I'm at the conclusion, they're always for you You'd think after 10 years, that maybe I'd grow up And give up this bullshit, like life's so fucking tough Shave this dumb haircut and loosen up my jeans And stop writing love songs so my nuts can finally breath Do you remember, when I got here last September And I told you this was worth it, this whole thing was worth it Well we made it through the winter and despite how fucking bitter You're still worth it. I can't grow out of you, And I don't think I want to

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Recorded by Bryce Smith at Smoothie Studio, Thunder Bay ON.
Mixed by Ward Pike at Comfort Cove Sound, St. John's NFLD.
Mastered by Bryce Smith

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released August 11, 2014

Recorded by Bryce Smith at Smoothie Studio, Thunder Bay ON.
Mixed by Ward Pike at Comfort Cove Sound, St. John's NFLD.
Mastered by Bryce Smith

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Dry Spell Thunder Bay, Ontario

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